What is normal?
I’ve come across this question so many times in my life. Is what I perceive as normal, the same normal for everybody else? Who are we to judge people as not being normal? Where do we draw the line between normal and abnormal? Who defines normal?
My uneducated opinion is that one aspect is a person’s upbringing and the influences that they had during those years. In saying that I specifically refer to the choices we make when we are raising our children. Are we sure we’re always on the right track. I’m being very honest in saying that I’ve doubted myself so many times. Giving a hiding where a harsh word would have done the trick as well, buying them sweets/toys just to keep them busy so that you can have a break or finish whatever you’re doing? Treating one kid different because he’s got a different personality? Are we creating and feeding their “normal” personalities by the way we bring them up?
Our two sons is 6 years apart, and not only that, their personalities are a million years apart. When the baby (just turned 2 years) eventually showed up, my eldest has grown accustomed to being an only child for almost 6 years, and I think we obviously over compensated for that by trying to make his life as interesting as possible by basically giving him everything he wanted. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a brat (I would rather rate the second one as the brat) and he loves his little brother to bits. He prayed non stop for a year for his little brother. But when the baby arrived, Ian was all of a sudden not the centre of attraction anymore. What he perceived as normal for six years, all of a sudden changed instantly, obviously so did our lives having a baby at the age of 31! Getting back to the question of normality - would Ian have become a different type of person if Henk was never born? Would his sense of normality have been the same as it is currently?
Does a kid’s genes play a huge role in determining his perception of normal? It is well known that phychological disorders are sometimes hereditary. I’m having my eldest tested for ADD soon, but in his little world he is normal and who am I to say that it’s not normal? I’m convinced that his dad has got ADD as well, so by the way … 
The grade 1 that he’s doing is NOT the grade one that we went to many moons ago. Stii and I were talking and for the life of me neither one of us can remember EVER getting homework up to grade 2 or 3. My son is 7 years old and he can basically read everything in Afrikaans & English. And that’s “normal”. I feel that kids should be able to still play outside in the sun, feel what rain on their skin feels like, get their hands dirty and play in mud and just be able to be a kid. There is ample time when they grow up to experience the pressures of everyday life. Let them just be normal - kids!
Maximillian Kaizen responded on 12 Oct 2007 at 11:29 am #
B!! hooray for you yes yes yes.. we aren’t meant to be little efficient machine parts that develop along a designated production line.
There is no “normal” only culture.
Culture has been dictated to by the drive of the Industrial Age hangover for so long now & it’s well overdue. We’re abusing our tiny ones trying to quench their spirited curiosity and tame their minds on Ritalin. Surely we all realise that the human spirit is denatured by trying to regulate & control “normalcy”
Hooray for you and Stii - there is hope for your little ones to grow up joyfully and whole-brained.
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S on your blog B - even under duress. It’s so beautiful, and thoughtful and respect for the WWF button.
Welcome to the blogosphere Belinda.
Blogs change lives.
May yours be a source of creative adventures!
Belinda responded on 12 Oct 2007 at 12:12 pm #
Thank you so much Max - I really respect and admire your perspective and view on all the different aspects of life. And therefor am so chuffed with your comment, as your opinion means a lot to me!
Oh, and the WWF button idea I got from your blog - told Stii I want that! Such a worthy cause with people trying to fix what the rest of us messed up, knowingly and unknowingly. The saddest part is that we are living in an enlightened age where people can’t use the excuse of “I didn’t know” anymore, but still there seems to be no end to it.
Even though we are worlds apart in what we do (in everyday life), when I started blogging I tend to go back to your site all the time and see what you are reading and what sites you are finding interesting, because somehow I found a weird connection in what you are blogging about.
Anyway, thanks for your contribution to my mental wellbeing!
Charl van Niekerk responded on 16 Oct 2007 at 11:01 pm #
When I think about “normal” I imagine the exact opposite of myself.
Belinda responded on 17 Oct 2007 at 5:43 pm #
I think you can be proud to “not be normal”. You are unique and didn’t change yourself just to fit in. You are exactly who you want to be. I salute you!!