belinda.za.net

First of all, a huge THANK YOU to Carl Spies (http://carlspies.com). Even though I don’t know you personally, you have restored my faith in mankind. You gave me hope that all is not lost and that there are people on this earth that actually care about fellow humans, not because of what they can gain from the relationship, but purely because they care.

Carl send me 2 photography books with Stii and I couldn’t believe it when Stii told me this last night. Maybe it’s because of the kind of work I’m in but I can’t remember when last I have seen such a selfless act. I know it’s only books, but I’m very sentimental when it comes to things like this. Whenever I receive a gift, it’s usually to say “thanks” for what I’ve done or to say “thanks” for what I am about to do.

Again, thanks Carl for opening my eyes and making me see that there is still good hearted people out there.

I’m so excited about my books I couldn’t decide whether to first start reading or to do this post, whilst Stii is ranting & raving about Afrigator’s good reviews. Well done to the Afrigator Guys! Even though I don’t like admitting it, I’m proud to be called “Stii’s wife”.

Ian after his operation, recovering - sleeping like an angel.

He woke up with a smile - No problems.

Henk after his operation - Recovering.

After lots of bribing, eventually he ate some jelly.

The chewing gum was nice!

And now he’s getting tired of the hospital

Finally, we’re home!!

The operations last week Wednesday went very well, all considering.  Above is a couple of photos we took in the hospital.  (Sorry about the poor quality, but I didn’t feel like taking my camera with and taking photos of them in hospital - as it is, the people thought I was half crazy! …). 

Stii took Ian into the theater room, and I had the pleasure of taking Henk.  By the time Henk went in, he was beside himself.  At one stage the hospital staff actually closed the doors because Henk was totally out of control, crying for his brother, crying because it was almost 11 o’clock and he hasn’t had anything to drink or eat since 20:00 the previous night.  I think it’s absolutely ludicrous to expect anybody to keep a 2 year old quite and relaxed since 6 o’clock the morning.  Eventually they gave him something to calm him down, and that had the opposite effect, he went even more crazy.  And all he wanted was his brother.  Needless to say, I was stressed out, Henk was stressed out, Stii was stressed out.  Eventually when I went into the theater room with him, he was clinging to his bed like a little monkey and I had to literally pull him from the bed.  When he got hold of me, the theater personnel had to pull him from me - he was stuck to me like Velcro.  That broke my heart! When they put the anaesthesia mask on him and the last breath he took I could see, looking at his throat, that he was struggling to breathe.  That was it! I told the doctors (very controlled) that my son was struggling to breath and they must do something NOW!  WELL, I was quickly escorted OUT of the theater room and told to please wait outside, they will call me when they are finished.  My heart was breaking for my little boy that was so scared and bewildered and I felt like a horrible mom, allowing all of this!

Ian was a little angel, not once did he complain or cry.  He’s a real strong little boy!  Being back at home, Henk was, and still is, driving us insane with his crying.  I know his throat is very, very sore, but PLEASE, give us a break!  The more irritated we get with Henk, the more irritated Stii and I get with one another.  There’s been a couple of times this past week that we snapped at each other, but it’s all a horrible combination of little sleep and high stress levels both at work and at home. 

Stii’s got the Afrigator project to finish and he’s flying to Jhb tomorrow (leaving me alone … again), aswell as his other contracts, and has been working into the early morning hours trying to keep everybody happy.  With the current floods in our area, I’m VERY, VERY busy at work, trying to cope with all the stress that comes with my job. In the end, getting home at night, with a 2 year old that doesn’t care whether you had horrible day or not, having his own tantrums, demanding your immediate attention in everything he does, having a very sore throat and just not feeling well, it really pushes you to your limits when it comes to self control.

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Tags: kids, hospital

Thinking back at the night I was sitting here, typing a message for Justin on his post of his son that’s going into hospital, I was trying to think of all the “right” words and what to say and what not to say. Being in the same boat (a month later), and having been through a similar ordeal when Ian was 8 months old, I all of a sudden realized that it’s so much easier to dish out advice when you are not going through it yourself. I can remember every second of that day when Ian got anaesthesia and how it made me feel as a mother, handing over his lifeless body to the doctor and praying that your child will wake up… It’s horrible!

Well, Friday we got the news that Henk (2 years) must get his tonsils and adenoids removed asap. But wait, that’s not all, if you order right now …….. today we heard that Ian (7 years) must get his adenoids removed and grommets put in, asap.

So, the long and the short of the story is that both Ian and Henk is having their ops on Wednesday morning. I’m not looking forward to it at all, but am so sick and tired of sick children that in a sense can’t wait for everything to be over and done with. To have my children safely in my arms and for once, hopefully, seeing some results. I’m tired of antibiotics week after week and the doctors treating the results and not the cause of the problem.

I still don’t know how Stii and I will be handling the two boys Wednesday morning because we (one of us) have to be with them when they get anaesthesia and be with them when they wake up. How do we choose between them? It makes me feel like being in the middle of a strong current and you have to let go of one son to save the other one!!

All I can ask is for everyone to pray that all will go well. Thx!

“Vaaderkarsfees ek is lief vir jou ek vas baie soet ek is ian ek wil baie graag `n remote control  kar he en `n handskoen wat 3 verskillende ligies in `n paar swetpakbroekies`n psp henk wil `n batman hemp he en `n supeman speelding”

To translate the above in English it will probably read something like this … “Father Christmas, I’m Ian - I love you and wasn’t naughty during the past year.  My request for presents include a remote control car, a pair of gloves with 3 different colored lights in it, a couple of sweaters, and/or a PSP.  And for Henk, my brother, he would like a Batman T-Shirt and a Superman toy”.

This is my 7 year old son’s Christmas list to Santa.  With his initial attempt, he also noted to Santa where can buy the toys (all from Reggies, of course).  I tried to explain to him that he must at least tell Santa how much he loves him and how good he was during the year etc etc.  Eventually I had my son in tears because the letter to Santa wasn’t fun anymore.  He turned to the computer and “composed” his own letter to Santa.  Even though it’s Afrikaans, the spelling was just to sweet.  Of course his initial attempt had the remote control car in aswell, but without Stii’s help, it was spelled “remode kandrol kar”.  The “kandrol” part caused a lot of fun in our house …

Needless to say, this letter must be posted to Santa ASAP (I think we must create an e-mail address for Santa … much easier).

Kids being kids … putting what they want/need/desire, out there and firmly believe  that it will come true.  We (grown ups) need to steal some of their Christmas spirit and ask from God what we want.  We want happiness, fulfillment, more time for this/that etc etc etc the list will go on and on and on.  Being like a kid, demands you to think about the present time only.  Tomorrow is not a problem yet because it hasn’t happened yet. I can promise you, if I ask Ian to do his Santa list tomorrow, it will be a different list altogether (except maybe for the PSP … we’re not going to get out of that one easily).  We need to think and feel like kids again.  Stop worrying about tomorrow, because you can’t change anything about tomorrow’s problems.  The problem with grown ups is that we are quite willing to ask God the things we need/want, but in the back of our heads we are already making Plan B’s “just in case …”.  Sorry, it doesn’t work that way - If you ask, you MUST believe like my 7 year old believes.  He believes that he will get each and every toy on his wish list (and the PSP of course…).  When he wrote his list there wasn’t a Plan B with a back up list.

PS:  Having second thoughts about the PSP - I’m sure Stii is behind this one!!!

I’ve recently been going through a very rough patch at work - working 11 hours a day, trying to give my best for the Company I’m working for, then getting home late at night, trying to please everyone here, getting frustrated, irritated, and just being nasty to the people that I love the most. I thank the Lord that I’ve got such a patient and loving husband, otherwise I would have been out on the street, long time ago! Thanks Luv!!! I’m tired, emotionally drenched and feel like sleeping for days without end. After a recent conversation that Bev and I had, I felt that it’s necessary to get this out in 1010101000101111000010010100 format, as I believe that I’m not the only person that feels like this. Why is it that we will slave ourselves to the bone for someone else, and when it comes to our family (the people that is suppose to be first in our lives), we would gently move them to the side and offer them the off cuts.

I love defending my causes and was trying to make excuses in my own world, maybe trying to put my mind at ease that there is a greater cause behind this all. First of all, I was telling myself that without my income we would not be able to cope financially. Thinking about it later on, I changed the “we” to “I”.

Then I started debating the fact that it’s my career that’s on the line. Yes, in a certain sense it’s true - I’ve been in the same industry for 11 years and sort of know what to expect when and how to handle it - and yes, I am quite good at what I do. I know I’m in a comfort zone and need to get out of there. So what?, these days people make quicker career changes than I can change underwear.

After playing tug-of-war with my emotions, I came to that special, horrible emotion: PRIDE. One of the seven deadly sins … Now I know why. If you don’t have it, you’ve got no backbone. If you have too much of it, you stuck up and tend to neglect everyone around you for the “cause”. What cause?? Especially for a mother, shouldn’t my most important cause be my kids and husband? I’m quite willing to fail at home as long as I don’t fail at work. And who is going to be at my bedside when I’m 70/80 years old? Definately not the Company I’ve been working for 11 hours a day - it’s going to be my husband and children. Priorities?? Failure?? Where do we draw the line if we have to work?????? Where do we get the courage to get out of our comfort zones and try something new? I don’t know…

Our house is filled with animals …

First there was Krummel (as in crumb). She got he name from the Neels Holgerson children animated story. He had a little hamster called Krummel.

Then came Jessie (short for Jessica). She’s the one that we got with our house when we moved to Bloem. (Either we adopted her or she was to be put down). Needless to say …

Jaykee (it must be pronounced exactly as it’s spelled) is our second attempt at a hamster. The first one departed about 6 months ago.

And last but not least, please meet Ruby (thorough bred sheep dog). The is the only thorough bred (except for the hamster) animal in our house. We got her today, and to read the whole story behind Ruby, see Stii’s blog. She is beautifull, but needs an urgent bath!!

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Tags: Animals