Are we forgetting to live our lives?
I’ve recently been going through a very rough patch at work - working 11 hours a day, trying to give my best for the Company I’m working for, then getting home late at night, trying to please everyone here, getting frustrated, irritated, and just being nasty to the people that I love the most. I thank the Lord that I’ve got such a patient and loving husband, otherwise I would have been out on the street, long time ago! Thanks Luv!!! I’m tired, emotionally drenched and feel like sleeping for days without end. After a recent conversation that Bev and I had, I felt that it’s necessary to get this out in 1010101000101111000010010100 format, as I believe that I’m not the only person that feels like this. Why is it that we will slave ourselves to the bone for someone else, and when it comes to our family (the people that is suppose to be first in our lives), we would gently move them to the side and offer them the off cuts.
I love defending my causes and was trying to make excuses in my own world, maybe trying to put my mind at ease that there is a greater cause behind this all. First of all, I was telling myself that without my income we would not be able to cope financially. Thinking about it later on, I changed the “we” to “I”.
Then I started debating the fact that it’s my career that’s on the line. Yes, in a certain sense it’s true - I’ve been in the same industry for 11 years and sort of know what to expect when and how to handle it - and yes, I am quite good at what I do. I know I’m in a comfort zone and need to get out of there. So what?, these days people make quicker career changes than I can change underwear.
After playing tug-of-war with my emotions, I came to that special, horrible emotion: PRIDE. One of the seven deadly sins … Now I know why. If you don’t have it, you’ve got no backbone. If you have too much of it, you stuck up and tend to neglect everyone around you for the “cause”. What cause?? Especially for a mother, shouldn’t my most important cause be my kids and husband? I’m quite willing to fail at home as long as I don’t fail at work. And who is going to be at my bedside when I’m 70/80 years old? Definately not the Company I’ve been working for 11 hours a day - it’s going to be my husband and children. Priorities?? Failure?? Where do we draw the line if we have to work?????? Where do we get the courage to get out of our comfort zones and try something new? I don’t know…
FeistyFemale responded on 09 Nov 2007 at 8:44 am #
Sjoe! Could never have written this and captured these thoughts myself - yet I truly feel this way too.
At what expense do we strive to be the best in our careers?
When you lying on your death bed will you really look back at your career, or the people that made your journey on this planet worthwhile?
I am sure God didn’t place us on the planet for work alone…maybe it’s time to breathe and re-evaluate our lives in an effort to achieve balance.
Great post Belinda! Good luck!
Jayx responded on 10 Nov 2007 at 6:37 pm #
…for the religious among you: maybe you should maintain the 6:1 ratio .. for the rest of us, all’s fair.
You should actually count yourself amongst the fortunate - you have a comfort zone. You already have a family and you can ask questions to yourself specific to what your priorities should be. What about those who do not really have a life outside the marketplace … those do not have someone to go home to from a long day at the salt mine?
You are good at what you do both on the workshop floor and back at home - you have and are a support structure. Due to your career you and hubby Stii can make career decisions in a very protected environment. “Agter elke man” the old afrikaans saying goes and anyone who knows you will know that you fill those shoes well - don’t doubt your decisions so … you’re living it chick … bloody well done.
Belinda responded on 11 Nov 2007 at 7:03 pm #
Reading my own post again (couple of days later)I found it to be very confusing. Thanks for trying to make sense of it. I had such a lot of emotions and feelings going through my mind, and needed to put everything out there.
@Bev: Thanks for the support - I know you’re in the same boat. It makes it easier to chat to someone that can relate, we can’t solve one another’s problems, but at least we can listen and UNDERSTAND.
@Jayx: That’s why I love it when you (people) comment - seeing life through somebody else’s eyes makes a huge difference. Even though it’s hectic and stressful I’ve never thought about the flip side of the coin. Thx Jayx, you’ve given me something else to think about!