My first post for 2008 is about foreplay - sex, what a wonderful way to start our new year!
After quite a funny discussion with friends of ours (after lots of red wine…) we came to the subject of foreplay. The word sex is very often used in our household and it’s not seen as the typical “holy cow”. We joke around, promising one another sex if you need something from the other person etc.
I want to dedicate this post to all the men reading it. PLEASE NOTE - foreplay doesn’t start 5 minutes before you’re having sex. We need time!! I tried to explain this to hubby so many times, but to no avail. Foreplay starts the moment you open your eyes - feel free to jump into the shower with her (please brush your teeth before the time and no sex yet, this is foreplay), when she’s preparing breakfast, gently stroke her back or a kiss in her neck will get her attention. Send her an sms or e-mail telling her that you love her and that you appreciate her. When she gets home from work, surprise her with a home cooked meal (on second thought, take aways will also do, if she has to do the cleaning, it will break her spirit!). Then start preparing her bath, please don’t forget the candles and the bath oil (or whatever she prefers). And then I’ll leave it in your capable hands… Make her feel special and she’ll be putty in your hands. That’s all - we’re not asking that much.
Please don’t be monotonous and do the same thing over and over, use your imagination! Happy foreplay in 2008!!
Stii and I took the boys to the beach today, for the first time this season (as everybody knows, the best time to come to the Garden Route for a holiday is during February/March). We’ve got the best weather during February, and with the recent floods we’ve had, the beach was out of the question. Today, being extremely hot, we set off to Hartenbos to visit my mom and dad and to take the boys to the beach. What a joy it was! I’m not particularly fond of the beach as I hate the sand that gets into places you never even thought you had, but Stii and the kids love it. I was sitting there thinking how privileged we are having the sea and the most beautiful mountains on our doorstep. The sad thing is that when you live here, you tend to forget about it. It’s only when you see all the holiday makers with GP and FS number plates that you all of a sudden realise it’s time to go to the beach again. Then everything/every place is crowded. You don’t get parking close to the beach and have to walk for 10 minutes, and you get irritated with the holiday makers, but forgetting that we’ve got the luxury of the sea 365 days a year. I still don’t see myself paying thousands of rands, to have a holiday by the sea (maybe because we grew up here and is taking our blessings for granted), but I also think that people are ripping off holiday makers in the daily rates they’re asking for accomodation.
To all the GP and FS people, you’ve got my sympathy! To all the locals, look around you, we’ve got so much natural beauty to be grateful for. Enjoy the mountains, our beautiful forests, beaches and the sea and think of all the people that have never smelled the smell of dampness and wet soil of our fern enriched forests or have felt the sand of the beach underneath their feet, or tasted exactly how salt sea water is when a wave unexpectedly hit you from your feet.
First of all, a huge THANK YOU to Carl Spies (http://carlspies.com). Even though I don’t know you personally, you have restored my faith in mankind. You gave me hope that all is not lost and that there are people on this earth that actually care about fellow humans, not because of what they can gain from the relationship, but purely because they care.
Carl send me 2 photography books with Stii and I couldn’t believe it when Stii told me this last night. Maybe it’s because of the kind of work I’m in but I can’t remember when last I have seen such a selfless act. I know it’s only books, but I’m very sentimental when it comes to things like this. Whenever I receive a gift, it’s usually to say “thanks” for what I’ve done or to say “thanks” for what I am about to do.
Again, thanks Carl for opening my eyes and making me see that there is still good hearted people out there.
I’m so excited about my books I couldn’t decide whether to first start reading or to do this post, whilst Stii is ranting & raving about Afrigator’s good reviews. Well done to the Afrigator Guys! Even though I don’t like admitting it, I’m proud to be called “Stii’s wife”.
I’ve recently been going through a very rough patch at work - working 11 hours a day, trying to give my best for the Company I’m working for, then getting home late at night, trying to please everyone here, getting frustrated, irritated, and just being nasty to the people that I love the most. I thank the Lord that I’ve got such a patient and loving husband, otherwise I would have been out on the street, long time ago! Thanks Luv!!! I’m tired, emotionally drenched and feel like sleeping for days without end. After a recent conversation that Bev and I had, I felt that it’s necessary to get this out in 1010101000101111000010010100 format, as I believe that I’m not the only person that feels like this. Why is it that we will slave ourselves to the bone for someone else, and when it comes to our family (the people that is suppose to be first in our lives), we would gently move them to the side and offer them the off cuts.
I love defending my causes and was trying to make excuses in my own world, maybe trying to put my mind at ease that there is a greater cause behind this all. First of all, I was telling myself that without my income we would not be able to cope financially. Thinking about it later on, I changed the “we” to “I”.
Then I started debating the fact that it’s my career that’s on the line. Yes, in a certain sense it’s true - I’ve been in the same industry for 11 years and sort of know what to expect when and how to handle it - and yes, I am quite good at what I do. I know I’m in a comfort zone and need to get out of there. So what?, these days people make quicker career changes than I can change underwear.
After playing tug-of-war with my emotions, I came to that special, horrible emotion: PRIDE. One of the seven deadly sins … Now I know why. If you don’t have it, you’ve got no backbone. If you have too much of it, you stuck up and tend to neglect everyone around you for the “cause”. What cause?? Especially for a mother, shouldn’t my most important cause be my kids and husband? I’m quite willing to fail at home as long as I don’t fail at work. And who is going to be at my bedside when I’m 70/80 years old? Definately not the Company I’ve been working for 11 hours a day - it’s going to be my husband and children. Priorities?? Failure?? Where do we draw the line if we have to work?????? Where do we get the courage to get out of our comfort zones and try something new? I don’t know…
Our house is filled with animals …
First there was Krummel (as in crumb). She got he name from the Neels Holgerson children animated story. He had a little hamster called Krummel.
Then came Jessie (short for Jessica). She’s the one that we got with our house when we moved to Bloem. (Either we adopted her or she was to be put down). Needless to say …
Jaykee (it must be pronounced exactly as it’s spelled) is our second attempt at a hamster. The first one departed about 6 months ago.
And last but not least, please meet Ruby (thorough bred sheep dog). The is the only thorough bred (except for the hamster) animal in our house. We got her today, and to read the whole story behind Ruby, see Stii’s blog. She is beautifull, but needs an urgent bath!!
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Tags: Animals
What a shock it was when I walked into a local store about 2 weeks ago, seeing all the christmas trimmings and trees already unpacked. I know it sounds like a cliche, but WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS YEAR?? In 2 months time it’s Christmas and by the 25th of December, the holiday season is almost over.
When a new year starts everything looks so promising and you set your goals and feel so good about it. And 2 weeks into the new year, most of them is forgotten and the usual takes over. Life goes on and you try your best to stay on top of everything and half way through the year you feel that you deserve a descent break. But there is no time to take a break … the job(s) must get done. There is always something that is chasing you down another alley, searching for an answer to your new found question.
I remember being in school and wishing the year could get to an end. There were no rush when we were in school. No pressure - all we had to do is see to it that you pass each standard. Life was relaxed and easy. And slowly but surely the pace picks up. You finish your studies, get married and when the kids are there, you’ve got time for nothing! Getting into bed at 10:00 pm is a luxury! You don’t have any time for yourself and if you do take a break, you feel guilty because you could have spend it with the kids (being a working mom - that’s how your head works).
I’m still trying to figure it out - is the year flying by because we are living in an age of electronic media and therefor increasing the pace at which we work? With competition getting stronger every day, you have to keep on proving yourself. Always trying to better yourself and being one step ahead.
Or is it just that our lives are more filled with precious people around us (kids, family and friends becoming more special as we grow older)?
Or maybe both??? and you wish you have a 48 hour day!
Oh and … every year I promise myself that I’m not going to get caught up in the Christmas madness and do all my shopping a month before the time. Needless to say, I never have the time for it … story of my life! But this year is going to be different ……….
Well, it’s been a week without blogging and I can feel my soul is aching for it - just need to get rid of my anger towards cowardly people. Stii was in Botswana for a couple of days and being alone with the kids can get quite hectic. At night time (when the kids are in bed), Stii and I chat on Adium and what feels like 10 minutes, quickly turns into 2 or 3 hours. By that time I’m so tired that I just don’t get to blogging.
But, this is a topic that’s been on my mind for quite some time now. I am the kind of person that would admit the moment that I’m wrong and do the necessary apologies and try to correct where I’ve wronged anybody. But if I’m right, sorry, no apologies from me. I will stand my ground until such time that the other party can proof me wrong. On issues that have no right or wrong - I’m always open and willing to listen to other people, we can always learn and gain knowledge in the process.
Then you get people that, knowing that they’ve wronged you, just WOULD NOT apologize! They will not admit that they have made a mistake (or rather put it - that they are not capable of making mistakes). How difficult can it be to admit that you are human?
I’ve had a recent conversation (if you want to call it that) with somebody wherein the person, realizing that he’s wrong, totally went off the topic and started getting very personal. Up to know I still have not received the words “I’m sorry, you were right” out of his mouth. What is wrong with our society if a person cannot even admit when he’s wrong? He will rather start a huge fight and get very personal about everything and anything. Is it pride? Is it stupidity? Might it be the fact that he still think he’s right? (even after proving to him that he’s wrong). Out of respect for myself and my loved ones, I decided not to get involved in any more catfights. To be very honest, knowing in my hart that I’ve won this battle by being the better person not to be drawn into somebody else’s battle with his own devils, makes me feel very good.
Oh, and one last thing, why do people want to prescribe to you/me how to write your blog or in what language you write your blog? I’m sorry if my is and are’s and has and have’s are not always grammatically correct, but some of us do have friends in foreign countries who CANNOT read/understand Afrikaans. I would rather have them reading my grammatically incorrect blog instead of not reading it at all.
To all the English speaking people, that do not get irritated by my grammatically incorrect blog - thank you very much! I appreciate it.
What a sad title …? But a topic that nobody really wants to talk about. Maybe because we don’t want to expose ourselves, maybe because you would look like a “smartvraat” - in Afrikaans, (Sorry, but I couldn’t get an equally descriptive word in English), maybe we want to protect ourself from the hurt and rather put their memories in a closet behind a locked door - only to be opened on special occasions. For men, I think it’s even worst. At least a woman are allowed to cry/be upset and they will write it off as her being “unstable again”, but men don’t get away with it that easily. They would not be a proper man if they showed emotion (and I find it especially true in the Afrikaans society).
Ever been in a situation where a familiar smell or sound took you back to a certain place and time? Well tonight, Sweet Caroline played on TV and emotions of 5 years ago came rushing back when a very dear friend of ours had a fatal car accident. Funny it was not the accident that was brought to my mind, it was the fun times we had together. The laughter and joy, the naughtieness and especially the way he smiled when he looked at you. I think it’s our brain’s way of protecting ourselves by remembering the good things in life and not the sad things - or maybe is just instinctive survival? My heart was crushed by the fact that his son was not even 2 years old at that stage. His wife needed to pick herself up and face the reality of raising a son without a father. I take my hat off to her in doing that.
This block is dedicated to all the dear friends we’ve all lost along the way and the Beautiful Noise that they’ve left us with to enable us to treasure them forever. Thanks to Neil Diamond - what will our lives be without music.
Living with Stii, you can be sure that there will always be something that is going to go wrong. Sometimes I feel bad for his sake, because I honestly think he doesn’t realize/always take note of what is happening around him (think he’s got a bit of ADD …). Other times it just brings out the worst in me.
I mean, how difficult can it be to brew a nice pot of fresh coffee. First, put the coffee in the filter, add the water to the machine and PUT THE FREAKING COFFEE POT UNDERNEATH THE FILTER. The ADD stepped in hugely this morning when Stii tried to make coffee.
The aroma of fresh coffee was overwhelmingly good this morning in the office, and suddenly I felt my feet and legs getting wet by spatters of, well what I thought was water. Surprise, surprise, my husband forgot to put the coffee pot back in the machine and the coffee was everywhere but in a cup to drink.
Needless to say, I was not very impressed and I haven’t been getting any coffee from him since starting the post…
People that knows my husband might think that what I’m about to write is bullshit, but … Yes, I was in Stii’s life before computers AND I actually introduced him to computers, way back in the Dark Ages. When we were dating I worked at a local computer shop and bought a computer (think it was a 486 computer …?). He obviously took total possession of the computer from day one, but yes, I was there first!!!
In actual fact, I’ve known Stii from High School days. But he wasn’t the type that an innocent, honest, well mannered girl like me would mingle with (geez, I wondered what happened to her). He was the surfer dude, with a very bad reputation for drinking way to much and where ever Stii was, the shit is going to hit the fan shortly (not the fighting type at all, but loves being naughty and causing shit where ever he goes). Must admit after 10 years of marriage, he hasn’t outgrown any of this. So, to all the ladies out there who’s marrying a man and think you can change him - FORGET ABOUT IT. They don’t change!!
To get back to the computer part of this blog, I usually play 2nd fiddle to the computer. We are supposedly to have a rule that when I get back from work, he’s suppose to close the office door and then it’s family time… Hello - can’t remember when last that happened! There’s always something that he must just “quickly” do. Or Justin/Arthur/Mark is on line and he quickly needs to discuss something with them. I fought against it and threw my tantrums, but to no avail.
So, I started of being first, but has lost my place to the computer - and let it be known to an Apple Mac - according to Stii the best thing since sliced bread.
